the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
