mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
