then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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