My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
