that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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