It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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