Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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