how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
