She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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