she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
