Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
