Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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