does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
