exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
