the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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