worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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