I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
