I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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