just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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