You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
