I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize