Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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