shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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