i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
