It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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