Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
