sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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