Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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