if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
