piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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