I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
