My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
