My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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