everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
