11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
