Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
