Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
