He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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