make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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