did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
