yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
