Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
