my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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