You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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