Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
