I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
