In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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