I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
