Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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