we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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