YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
