Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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