now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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