I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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