That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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