On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
