i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
