He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
