Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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