he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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