i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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